A breakdown of the different childcare options including daycare, nanny, nanny shares, au pair, and family.

When you have a new baby, it can be difficult to imagine ever leaving them behind. In fact, one of the toughest things about maternity leave is the countdown to its end. Anxiety and depression regarding childcare can make things even more difficult. So let’s walk through the pros and cons of some childcare options. It might help you to make a choice that works for you.

Nanny - A nanny is a person who comes to your house every day to watch your kids. Nannies tend to be more experienced (and older) than babysitters, but they perform a similar one-on-one caretaking role.

• Pros: A nanny who works well with your family can become someone your child or children can trust and lean on. Some children, especially shy ones, may respond well to the quiet support in their own home. You also don’t have to run out for a pick up or drop off, since the nanny is in your home. Scheduling and hours can also be very flexible with a personal nanny. When your child is sick, you can still leave them with your nanny, and not need a backup option for childcare or to solely rely on you to stay home. 

• Cons: Nannies are expensive. You are their primary employer, which means you need to figure out vacations and taxes and sick days. If your nanny calls in sick, you will need a backup plan for childcare, or you’ll have to stay home from work. Nannies usually come to you, which can create challenges if you’re trying to work in the house, especially if you have a small space.

Nanny Share - Sometimes, families team up and hire a nanny together. They can split the cost of the nanny, who will then watch all the children together. Often, the families take turns hosting the nanny and children in their homes, so sometimes they will be in your house, sometimes somewhere else. 

• Pros: More one-on-one attention for your child with a smaller price tag. Nanny shares also mean that your child has a playmate, which can be great for social interaction. These arrangements are often win/win, since the nanny makes more money and you spend less.

• Cons: You’re adding another family’s schedule to your own, which means adding possible complications. What happens when someone in the other family gets sick? What if they decide to leave the nanny share or move farther away? Do you have the same opinions about discipline? Do your children need the same amount of attention? Do they have overlapping nap times? It’s important that these things line up well between your families.

Au pair - An au pair is a caretaker who lives with you in your home. They tend to be younger people, often from other countries, who are looking for a way to work and adventure at the same time. There are many companies that place au pairs with American families.

• Pros: Au pairs offer a very personal touch for your child, and since they are in your home, there is usually more flexible scheduling available as well. Since you are matched through a service, there are supports to help you manage potential conflicts. The cost tends to be lower than it would be for a full-time nanny.

• Cons: Au pairs live in your home, which means room and board are usually your responsibility, so you will have to have a private space for the au pair to stay. In addition, au pairs tend to be younger people, who may not have spent much time away from home, so you may have some hand-holding to do as they find their footing in a new place. Having the support of an au pair service is helpful, but it also can be another expense to consider. Their placements are usually short term (2 years) so this could be a pro or a con depending on your situation. 

In-home Daycare - In an in-home daycare is a caretaker (or small group of caretakers) that takes care of other people’s children in their home. Each state has its own rules for licensing and regulating in-home daycares, but there are rules and regulations governing these businesses, including the number of children a caretaker can watch at any given time. 

• Pros: An in-home daycare combines the personal feel of a home with the social atmosphere of a daycare. They are usually more affordable than commercial centers, and often include home-cooked food. An in-home center is usually smaller than a large-scale commercial daycare, which means more personalized attention for your kids. 

• Cons: There are usually multiple weeks of closure for the daycare throughout the year for vacation; often, this is a paid vacation, and families are still expected to pay. Also, since there are fewer employees, there is an increased likelihood of closures if someone gets sick, since there are laws about how many caretakers are needed to watch the children. You also need to manage a pick up and drop off schedule at the daycare, which you do not have to do when someone is watching your kids at your house. When your child is sick, you cannot use daycare for your childcare for the duration of their illness. 

Commercial Daycare Centers - This kind of daycare is run as a company, usually located in a commercial building, as opposed to a home. They tend to be one of the more expensive options, though some workplaces offer discounts for these centers. Like in-home daycares, commercial daycare facilities are regulated by state law. Commercial daycare facilities tend to provide a more school-like feel.

• Pros: Corporate daycares tend to operate more like classrooms, offering enrichment and organized play options even for younger children. They often have more employees available to work, which means less likelihood of unexpected closure due to illness or unexpected absence.

• Cons: Expense is the biggest one here, but there are others. As with in-home daycare, you need to manage pick up and drop off. Although having a larger staff can be a pro, it can also mean that you have less control over who is interacting with your child. When your child is sick, you cannot use daycare for your childcare for the duration of their illness. 

Remember: No matter which option you choose, you will still be your baby’s person when you drop them off at a nanny share or a daycare. You will still be their parent, their confidente, and their favorite shoulder to cry on. 

We know it feels hard to imagine giving up so much time with your kiddo. Try to remember that this is only the beginning of your time with your kid. It doesn’t end at the daycare door.