Understanding the difference between normal worry and overwhelm when you are a parent vs. symptoms of anxiety and seeking help is so important in gett

It’s a hard time to have a baby. As most nurses and doctors will tell you, it’s normal to feel worried, overwhelmed, and sometimes even moments of anxiousness after having a baby. Many medical professionals even think of it as an adaptive instinct, designed to help us protect our babies (thanks, mother nature). In fact, the Mayo Clinic found that about 89% of new moms experience some level of postpartum anxiety. And no wonder, when we’re constantly being told about things that might go wrong. SIDS and fevers and weird poop… it’s a never ending list of worries. Add COVID-19 on top of it all, and it’s pretty hard to imagine not worrying.

The good news is that normal anxieties die down as the baby grows. As you get more sleep, and the baby gets bigger and stronger, you should find that those fears become fewer and farther apart. Try to breathe, articulate your worries to your family and partners and find ways to mitigate your fears with baby monitors and thermometers, give yourself self-care, and you should find yourself breathing more deeply soon. 

Adventures in COVID-19 should be eased once you get home into an environment without people coming in and out of your space. (Aside: do not let parental units or other family members tell you that they need to hold the baby, COVID be damned. It’s not up to them, it’s up to you, and you are well within your rights to tell people that Zoom is the closest they’re going to get for now. Blame your doctor; that’s why they’re there.)

Ok, that’s normal anxiety. What about Anxiety with a big A? 

Postpartum Anxiety (with a big A) is often overlooked in the hunt for Postpartum Depression; so many moms find themselves unsure if they need help, or if their concerns are normal. The best way to tell if you need help with your anxiety is to ask yourself if it’s impacting your ability to function. So…

1. Are you worrying whenever you’re awake? Are you consumed by it?

2. Do your fears stop you from doing everyday activities with the baby (i.e. giving baths, walking down stairs, walking around the block in a stroller)?

3. Do your thoughts race from one worry to another?

4. Do you have a persistent feeling of being on-edge or agitated?

5. Would you say that you experience an overwhelming sense of dread, even when nothing is going wrong?

6. Have you experienced panic attacks (shortness of breath, pain or tightness in your chest)?

7. Are you unable to give up control (i.e. sleep, let someone else hold the baby, go to the store) for fear that something will go wrong?

If you answered yes to one or more of these, it might be time to talk to a medical professional. Medication is one option, but it’s not the only option out there.  There are many resources for postpartum women that we love to tap into all the way from therapy, to mindfulness, to acupuncture.  That being said, don’t stop yourself from seeking help because you don’t want medication. And remember that for most mothers, even severe postpartum anxiety will fade with time. This won’t last forever. Keep your head down and take care of yourself.

Emergency resources:

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255