Need a confidence booster for how you're choosing to feed your baby? We got you covered!

Have you ever heard the expression “breast is best”? It was the basis of a revolution, turning the tide of formula-fed babies in America (which reached 75% in 1971) back toward breastfeeding. And it worked: as of 2017, reports indicate that 84.1% of babies in the U.S. were breastfed initially. This information, reported by the CDC, is touted as positive and important. 

So what’s wrong with “breast is best”? After all, many major medical organizations have made it clear that breastfeeding is a positive thing. And it can be, if it comes easily to you and your baby. Many moms report that breastfeeding helps them bond with their child, and studies indicate possible benefits to the baby’s immune system over time.

Here’s the problem: “breast is best” only works for women who can breastfeed. Which many, many women can’t. 

Why can’t they? 

Sometimes for medical or physical reasons. Mothers with HIV or AIDS are encouraged not to breastfeed. Many mothers can’t produce enough milk, which can lead to weight gain issues for the baby. Inverted nipples, pain when breastfeeding, and latching issues for the baby can make formula feeding the right choice. 

Some mothers have nursing aversions, which can lead to depression and anxiety. And some babies have medical needs that result in hospitalization or outside care, which often means formula feeding.

There are also extremely common financial reasons. America does not give mothers financial support after birth, nor does it require that companies provide any kind of paid leave. So even if you qualify to take time off, you might not be able to afford to stay home. You can’t breastfeed exclusively if you have to go back to work. 

There are also a myriad of personal reasons why someone might choose formula over breast milk. Valid reasons, all, since it is your body and your baby.

But when these women, who are still getting up in the middle of the night to soothe and feed their babies, who are still worrying over umbilical stumps and green poops, who inhale that sweet baby scent from the top of their babies’ heads, who are still adjusting to their post-partum bodies… when these women hear “breast is best,” what they really hear is “you’re not doing the best you can for your kid.” In fact, women who don’t breastfeed are often described as “failing” to breastfeed, which can exact a strong impact on a mother’s emotional state.

Especially in the early days, when your child seems so fragile, and its needs are so based on nutrition, the pressure to breastfeed can bring on feelings of failure, judgment, and shame.

With that in mind, let’s look at some important facts that show that however you feed your baby, you’re doing just fine.

1. Breastfeeding is popular everywhere in the U.S., but it’s also regional. The CDC reports that in New England, California, as well as certain states in the South, exclusive breastfeeding is very common. In the Midwest, there’s a stronger formula fed movement. So if you live in a place where breastfeeding is more popular, it may seem as if you’re the only one shaking a bottle of formula in a coffee shop. You are far from alone.

2. Formula is safe and effective. Since the 1980s, formula ingredients have been closely regulated and monitored. It can be hard to feed your baby something that you didn’t produce yourself, but it will get easier. Check expiration dates, take a deep breath, and feed your kid.

3. Sadly, you can’t escape judgment. If you’ve ever taken your child to the store without a hat, you’ll know that public opinion will be voiced, whether you breastfeed or formula feed, homeschool or private school, hat or… no, everyone wants you to put a hat on your kid. Well… everyone except your actual kid.

Above all else, please remember this. Breast milk is food. Formula is food. Don’t get it twisted: either way you choose to do it, you are feeding your kid. And in about six months, your kid will be eating dust bunnies (non-organic ones) off the floor, so don’t worry so much. You’re doing just fine.

Sources

CDC, “Breastfeeding Report Card”

Newsweek, “Breast is Best” opinion, Joan Y. Meek, 2018.

Fatherly, “5 Myths about Baby Formula,” Patrick A. Colman, January 2021.