But I Planned for This: Birth Trauma & How to Handle it

General Parenting Advice
13 Oct 2021
Emily Silver

Birth trauma is real, and in the post we discuss what it is, and ways to address it if you have experienced it.

Birth trauma is a form of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Although PTSD is often associated with soldiers, it can actually occur whenever there is a frightening, painful, or uncontrollable event that triggers long-term emotional response. A study conducted in 2010 found that up to 45% of new mothers report some form of birth trauma.

Birth trauma can be triggered in many different ways. For instance: pushing for many hours only to have a c-section at the end of all that time; a failed epidural or under-medicated birth; an unexpected NICU stay for the baby; hemorrhaging or another medical emergency during labor; or even abuse or neglect from hospital staff. In each case, there is an expected outcome (healthy mother and baby, and minimal pain) and then there is the actual outcome, which was not expected. 

Mothers who experience birth trauma are often misdiagnosed with Postpartum Depression. One of the major symptoms of both PPD and PTSD is a low, fatigued feeling that hangs over your head. But PTSD also includes specific fears caused by the event. For instance, a mother might be afraid to take her baby back to the hospital, or she might be afraid to go to the doctor herself. 

All too often, symptoms of birth trauma are ignored or dismissed. Many people feel that they must be the only people going through this, or they should be able to shake it off. Older generations are more likely to pretend these things didn’t happen, so stories of birth trauma often go unrepeated, which makes newer victims feel even more alone.

If you find that you are experiencing birth trauma, you are not alone. And there are things that you can do to make this better. 

  1. Talk to your partner, your parents, your friends — people who care about you. Find someone you trust and tell them the story of your experience. Saying it out loud makes it less powerful; it can be extremely helpful to get it out in the open. 

  2. Talk to your healthcare provider. Make a list of questions about what happened, and talk about it with your doctor or medical support system. This is something you will have to advocate for and request when you go into your postpartum check-up often.  It is incredibly important to debrief your labor with your provider. 

  3. Join a support group, either online or in person.  The first thing we do in our Mom’s Survival Guide is outpour our birth stories. Not for a cliche ice breaker, but to debrief labor and delivery and what went down.

  4. Make an appointment with a therapist; even if that appointment won’t take place for a month or more, just book it. You might find you really need it when the date arrives.

  5. Listen to our podcast episode about sharing your birth story. It really might help.

  6. As always, if you are worried that you might harm yourself or others, pick up the phone and ask for help now. Don’t wait for things to get worse.


Sources:

Traumatic Childbirth: Is there anything positive? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6193358/ 


What is birth trauma?

https://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/for-parents/what-is-birth-trauma


Women’s Perceptions of Living a Traumatic Childbirth Experience and Factors Related to a Birth Experience

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6539242/ 


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