Here we breakdown the top 5 things we wish every parent knew about that first week home after birth.

Many of us rely on our family and friends to prep us for the first few days after birth. This is tough, because their brains (like our own) do a pretty fantastic job at erasing memories of this time. So here are a few things you should expect in the days after giving birth… things that might have slipped your mother’s mind.

1. There will be discomfort. Recovering from a birth (either vaginal or C-section) isn’t easy. And when combined with exhaustion, it might feel overwhelming. You’ve been through a major physical journey. Just because people do it every day doesn’t mean it isn’t really really hard.

To manage: Use lots of ice for pain or swelling in the perineum, and heat for any hemorrhoids or discomfort in the bum. Try to keep up with your painkillers (over the counter or prescription, whatever your doc recommends); it can be very helpful as you make your way through the first few days. Move around a bit every hour, if you can. And tell your nurse or doctor if you’re not able to handle the pain; don’t be a hero.

2. There will be blood. After you give birth, you’ll have period-like blood (called lochia) for quite some time. It is normal to experience bleeding for 4-6 weeks after giving birth. (Whether you had a vaginal delivery OR a c-section…)  I know; this is surprising to many new moms.  

To manage: Try to stock some pads at home before you give birth. Often the hospital will send you home with them (and some of those fun mesh diapers!), if you ask, but they are quite big!  Have some smaller sizes and panty liners on hand at home.

3. Milk takes time. A lot of first-time mothers expect that as soon as that baby appears, milk will start flowing. But in reality, you’ll have a few days (usually 2-5 days) before your milk comes in.  While your full milk supply is not yet in, your body is brilliant and it not only grew and delivered a baby, but it makes colostrum, with all of the nutrients your baby needs in those first few days.

To manage: Don’t panic if the milk isn’t there right away. Keep trying (if you want to breastfeed). Remember that your body  And remember that giving your baby formula is just giving your baby nutrients; it won’t “ruin” your breastfeeding relationship if you need some help in those first few days. In fact, it might mean you get some much-needed sleep.

4. When the milk comes, tears might follow. When your milk does come in, there may be a massive hormone rush along with it. It’s normal to feel deep baby blues in those early days. If this is your first baby, reading this might be confusing: what’s to be sad about when you have a perfect little baby in your arms? But your body is going through some big changes; try to be gentle with yourself as things find their new equilibrium.

To manage: Usually being aware that you might get the sobs is the best you can do. Prep your partner, too, so they don’t panic. But also try to remind yourself that this is normal when it happens. Let yourself cry. It’s perfectly all right. And when you’re in it, if you’re having more los than highs, or questioning if you are crying too much, always let someone know. Run it by your OB or midwife, or your lactation consultant or pediatrician. Just let someone know so you can fall into the right hands for support  if and when needed.

5. Visitors might not seem like such a good idea. Before the baby comes, you might be super excited about the idea of a million people coming to the hospital (or to your home) to meet your new addition. But afterwards, those feelings might change. You might be unshowered, teeth unbrushed, and (as we said) you’ll be bleeding and possibly crying. Sometimes the idea of having people around can be overwhelming. Plus, the idea of sending them away can be overwhelming, too.  This is where we like to get clear on the difference between a visitor versus someone you let in that is a helper.  Let's do more helpers during this time, and less visitors. 

To manage: Communicate that any plans in the first week or so will need to be confirmed. Try to keep it to people who make you feel comfortable and safe. Think to yourself: am I comfortable with this person watching me try to feed a tiny human from my body? Am I comfortable with this person seeing me cry? It might also be helpful to give people one-hour windows. Tell them they can come and see the baby (drop off food, hint hint), and stay from 1-2pm. That might make it easier to kick them to the curb when you’re ready to try breastfeeding again, or when you’re ready for a nap.  Embrace the helpers: those that you can be around and want to feed you, do household tasks for you, or even hold the baby while you shower or nap.

Above all else, try to see giving birth as a major undertaking that will require recovery. All too often, we imagine things one way, and then we’re shocked and saddened when it’s harder than expected. That is normal. Just… try to manage your own expectations ahead of time. It might make the way forward just that much easier.